And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
