i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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