doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
