The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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