Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Randomize