Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
