I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
