Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize