around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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