out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize