dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
