I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
kristin has been a bad kristin
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
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