Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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