I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
