he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
