i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
