If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
