its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
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