North Korea, Best Korea!
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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