But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Randomize
