I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize