too bad you live with your parents still
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize
