Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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