The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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