Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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