Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
