He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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