big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
are you so shy because you have an std?
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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