I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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