so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Randomize
