I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
