: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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