I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
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