some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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