I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Randomize
