Tell her she can't have a vagina
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Randomize
