Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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