He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
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