Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize