The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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