Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
