The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
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