loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
