where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
