Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
i was born a porn star she said
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
