so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
