She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
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