I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Randomize
