But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Randomize
