hell yes lets make some ravioli
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
