it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Randomize
