I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
