They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
