bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
