You really coming over, don't trick.
Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize