wanna go halves on a baby?
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
