just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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