Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
