I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
