Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
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